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Eating with Family and Friends

Worried About Thanksgiving Eating? Here’s Some Help

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A Time For Giving Thanks And A Celebration Of Abundance

Those of us who are lucky enough to go to or host a Thanksgiving dinner are often faced with a dilemma:  overabundance.  Our Thanksgiving meal has become associated with a true groaning table – a table loaded with turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes in multiple formats, cranberry sauce, gravy, green bean casserole, brussel sprouts, and traditional family specialties. For closers there’s apple pie, pecan pie, pumpkin pie, ice cream, cookies, and whatever other desserts Grandma, Aunt Sue, and Mom decide to make or bring.

A Feast and a Caloric Overload

How can you enjoy your traditional Thanksgiving dinner and not feel like a slug for days afterward? The ironic thing is that the usual main dish is really lean poultry (turkey), and the main vegetables and condiments are nutritional powerhouses (sweet potatoes, brussel sprouts, and cranberries).  The traditional dessert is made from a vegetable (pumpkin pie) or nuts (pecan pie) so you wouldn’t think this would be so difficult.

The calories in a traditional Thanksgiving dinner are estimated to range from 2,000 to 4,500, depending on what you put on your plate. Most people of average size who get moderate activity should eat between 1,600 to 2,400 calories per day,  so Thanksgiving dinner is quite a hefty meal. So are the calories eaten the rest of the day — from the warm-up grazing food to the leftovers.  Not everyone gains weight over the holidays, but if you do, those pounds rarely come off.

Who Wants to Count Calories on a Holiday?

Most of us don’t want to count calories on a holiday. If you deprive yourself of the traditional foods you come to associate with holidays, more often than not you end up paying the piper. That’s when you find yourself standing in front of an open fridge rummaging for leftovers because you feel deprived from the stare down you had with your favorite foods earlier in the day.

Have Your Own Plan of Attack

Create an eating plan of attack before the celebration day. You know you’ll eat a bit more – or maybe a bit more than a bit more – than on a typical day. Mathematically allow for your holiday meal. Remember, calories in – calories out. Compensate by eating a little lighter the days before and after. Add in a long walk.  It takes 3500 calories to gain or lose a pound — so think about balancing out your calories during the weeks before and after the holiday.

Don’t starve yourself the day of the grand meal. If you try to save up calories for a splurge, you’ll probably be so hungry by the time dinner is ready you’ll end up shoving food into your mouth faster than you can say turkey.

The Key Is Balance, Not Deprivation

Inevitably, if you deprive or restrict yourself you eventually end up overeating. The mantra becomes – “it’s just one day.” The problem is the one day extends to leftovers the next day – then the weekend – then to Christmas parties – then to the New Year’s Eve party. It could even extend to Super Bowl Sunday!

Celebrations the day of are fine. Celebrating for weeks on end is not. Plus, you’ll end up hating yourself!

Try some of these:

  • Give yourself permission to not eat something just because it’s tradition.
  • Only eat it if you want it. Eat what you want not what you think you should.
  • Say no to the friend or relative who is pushing the extra piece of pie. You’re the one stepping on the scale or zipping up your jeans the next day – not them.
  • Make some rules for yourself and commit to them.
  • Make a deal (with yourself) that you can eat what you want during dinner. Put the food on your plate and enjoy every last morsel. I’m not even suggesting that you leave some on your plate. But – that’s it. No seconds and no double-decking the plate.
  • Limit the hors d’oeuvres. They really pack in calories. Make eating one or two your rule.
  • Trade hors d’oeuvres for a luscious piece of pie for dessert.
  • Alcohol adds calories (7 calories/gram). Alcohol with mixers other than club soda or diet soda adds more calories. Plus, alcohol takes the edge off lots of things – including your ability to stick to your plan.
  • Drink water. It fills you up. Have a diet soda if you want. If you’re going to drink, limit the amount – alternate with water.
  • Control your environment. Don’t hang around the buffet table or stand next to the platter of delicious whatevers. Why are you tempting yourself?
  • Talk to someone. It’s hard to shove food in your mouth when you’re talking.
  • Get rid of leftovers. The best laid plans have been defeated by leftover stuffing.
  • Don’t nibble during clean-up (or preparation for that matter). Broken cookies, pieces of piecrust, and the last spoonfuls of stuffing haven’t magically lost their calories.
If you ignored a lot of this, you ate everything is sight, and your exercise was walking back and forth to the to the buffet table, put on the tourniquet. It was just one day — just don’t let it stretch into days or weeks.  Remember to enjoy the holidays. Be grateful. That’s the point, isn’t it?

 

Are You Using The Holidays As An Excuse To (Over)Eat?

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Gotta have the Christmas cookies, the candied yams, the stuffing with pecans, both pumpkin and pecan pies, the peanut brittle, eggnog, and whatever else your particular holiday, culture, and family traditions dictate.

Really???

Ask yourself why.  Are your groaning table and edible holiday delights really because of tradition – or, in part, an excuse to surround yourself with the food you love and want to eat?

There is nothing wrong with tradition and wanting to share your memories and love through food.

Are Holidays An Excuse To (Over)Eat?

The big question to ask yourself is:  am I really sharing/holding to tradition and memories of the season – or am I using the holidays as an excuse to make and eat a whole lot of food that I really would prefer not to eat – or eat in such quantity?

Most people who know me also know that I bake really good Christmas cookies – for a lot of events, not just Christmas.  I baked them for a party for my son’s July wedding (not a Christmas tree in sight) and as I brought them out there was a chorus of “Christmas cookies” from his friends who have eaten them many times before.  Didn’t matter that it was July.  The recipe was the same, they tasted the same, and they came from my kitchen.

What’s my point?  I love baking these cookies, and I love sharing them.  There are a whole host of emotions wrapped around these cookies.

I also know that I love eating them.  Have I ever used an occasion as an excuse to bake them – even though things would have been fine without the cookies?  You bet I have.

Why?  I love those cookies.  I love to eat them.  I love to eat the dough (I’m really not endorsing that – It’s a bad habit and the dough does have raw egg in it).

The bottom line is that I end up eating hundreds of calories – delicious, but not healthy ones – that I certainly don’t need.  And, even though I’m sharing what I consider to be “a little bit of love from my kitchen,” I still, very frequently, use the holiday or the event as an excuse.

Some Helpful Hints

I’m certainly not advocating giving up baking Christmas cookies or whatever your specialty or tradition is.  What I am suggesting is that you ask yourself the reason for doing so.  Recognize and be mindful of your reasons.

  • If you do make your specialty – plan for it.  Make it and then keep it out of sight (out of mind).  Eat it with everyone else – not in a constant stream of tasting and little snatches from the fridge or cupboard.
  • Store your amazing food out of sight and, hopefully, out of mind.  Far away, too.  Usually if we have to work to get food it may take some of the desire out of it.  So store the food in the basement or someplace out of the kitchen.
  • Leftovers?  Send them home with your family and friends.  I’ve fed lots of college dorms and offices with my leftovers.  Freeze them and store them in the back of the freezer where you can’t see them (although I can attest that frozen Christmas cookies are great – my sons once ate a whole container of them out of my downstairs freezer without my knowing about it.  Had to bake another batch before Christmas dinner.)

Traditions are important and food is nurturing.  Traditions, family, and holidays can also be stressful.  Cook away if that’s your pleasure. Just ask yourself if you are using holidays, traditions, guests, and family as excuses to (over)eat. 

Let A Baseball Be Your Guide

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It’s awfully hard to gauge how much food you’re putting on your plate – and even more difficult to figure out how much you’re popping into your mouth when you eat directly from a multi-serving bag of food.

Portion size is critical to managing your weight.  One helpful idea is to use commonplace objects as visual guides to “guesstimate” portion sizes.

One Cup Is About The Size Of A Baseball

The suggested serving size for many food items, particularly produce, is a cup. (The suggested portion size for many denser items, like pasta, rice, or ice cream is a half a cup, so two servings – which is what, at least, most of us eat, would equal a cup.)

 A Baseball, Not A Softball

A cup is about the size of a baseball – a baseball, not a softball.  So a cup of cooked greens, a cup of yogurt, a cup of beans, or a cup of cantaloupe should all look like the size of a baseball – but with obviously different calorie counts due to the food’s individual differences in food density and energy (calories).

Here are a few more of the CDC’s examples of one-cup servings:

  • 1 small apple
  • 1 medium grapefruit
  • 1 large orange
  • 1 medium pear
  • 8 large strawberries
  • 1 large bell pepper
  • 1 medium potato
  • 2 large stalks of celery
  • 12 baby carrots or 2 medium carrots
  • 1 large ear of corn

 

Is Your Workplace A Food Landmine?

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Your workplace can be a major food landmine when you’re trying to eat well.

We spend a lot of hours at work — whether that means time at the office, at home, in the car, on an airplane, in a hotel, in a retail store, or anywhere else you conduct your business.  The challenges are enormous — especially in the face of ever-present food – a good deal of which is carb and fat loaded – and an environment which can range from fast paced, stressful, and overwhelming to boring or downright exhausting.

Using Food To Cope, Manage, And Procrastinate

All of this can push you into using food as a means of coping, procrastinating, or looking for energy to ward off fatigue.

  • Try to identify what you usually do when you’re stressed, tired, or angry.  If your usual action is to grab a cookie or candy bar try to manage your stress without the reward foods. Instead of turning to a high-calorie, high-fat trigger foods to calm your nerves or as a reward, try some healthy, stress-relieving practices like deep breathing and meditation — and make them your default.
  • Make a deal with yourself to work some activity into your workday.  Instead of using eating as an excuse to take a break, make taking a short walk – even if it’s around your office or to another floor — an essential part of your day. The quick walk will get you out of the immediate environment, let you blow off some steam, and burn an extra calorie or two. If you travel, walk in the airport rather than plopping yourself down in the food court or bar.
  • If you eat out or order take out for any of your meals, scout out the restaurants, delis, salad bars – or even your own workplace lunchroom.  Identify the meal choices that are the best for you and make them your “go-tos” so you’re not caught in the trap of being starving or too busy to care when you order.   Have you ever been so hungry that you throw your best laid plans out the window and end up eating a whole pizza followed by a piece of chocolate cake?
  • If you plan your route to work to intentionally pass your favorite coffee shop with the absolute best blueberry muffins — or find yourself using the rest room on the next floor because you have to walk by the vending machine with peanut M&Ms — think about changing your route.   Don’t taunt yourself with temptation. Do some thinking and planning.  If you’re going to have a snack, plan for it –  know what you’re going to eat and stick to your choice.  Contemplating your choices while standing in front of a bakery display or vending machine filled with candy or salty treats is a sure fire recipe for caving in.  Don’t deny yourself food – just make it good food.
  • It’s always someone’s birthday — or it’s a holiday — or someone has brought in leftovers from their kid’s party  or a recipe that you just have to taste.  By the way, the reason they probably brought in the leftovers is because they don’t want them hanging around their house tempting them.  Have a strategy for the inevitable food fest of leftover cake, pizza, and bagels. Perhaps allow yourself a once or twice a week treat.  Just don’t make the snack room a routine place to visit to scrounge for the leftover cake.
  • Install your own personal policy for bowl dipping —  you know – the dipping into the candy bowl at the receptionist’s desk, the jelly beans on your partner’s desk, the chocolates on the counter. Use whatever reason you have to – maybe think about all of the other hands – and where those hands have been – that are also dipping into the same bowl.
  • If your desk drawer filled with reward food that stares at you every time you open the drawer, aren’t you tempting fate?  See it — eat it.   Need I say more?

 

Do Restaurant Meals Sabotage Your Diet?

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Are you afraid to eat out for fear of “blowing your diet” or because you think there aren’t good choices to be had? Are you tired of hearing that you shouldn’t go to restaurants if you want to control what you eat?

Choices

You can choose to eat out and eat well. You are responsible for making good choices for yourself.

Your first choice is when you select which restaurant to go to (do you want grilled fish or a huge plate of pasta).  The second round of choices come when you’re inside the door and confronted with the menu, the breadbasket, and the portions.

Restaurant Meals

I eat out a lot.  After years of cooking for a very active family of five, I’m quite happy not to cook every night.  I actually find it easier to control my portions and calorie consumption when I eat out in restaurants.

I follow a number of unwritten guidelines that, over time,  have become habits.

I eat in the restaurant rather than ordering in or bringing prepared food home.  It is too difficult to eyeball portions when they arrive as full containers and it is far too easy to eat too much by finishing off the last bits rather than saving or tossing the leftovers.

Select Wisely

I pick my everyday restaurants carefully and I’ve developed relationships with the wait staff.   I certainly go to special restaurants on occasion and really enjoy the fantastic food – but that’s not my everyday fare. My “everyday” restaurants serve food that is friendly to my eating patterns.

They offer a range of lean proteins and vegetables and are amenable to swaps.  My local diner is so used to me ordering a side of spinach instead of home fries with my eggs that they bring it without my asking.  They make food swaps with pleasure – not with grumpiness.  I’m a good customer and ask very politely.

I don’t let the breadbasket even land on the table (if I’m eating with others it goes near them — my husband agrees with the breadbasket taboo).  Bread is way too difficult to resist when it’s staring you in the face and can add hundreds of calories before you get to the main course.

I usually drink iced tea, water, diet coke (yep, I like it), or a glass of wine.  These choices account for zero to around 120 calories for the wine (one restaurant sized glass).

If I do have dessert at an “everyday” restaurant, it’s berries in season.  If they’re not sweet enough I sprinkle a little Splenda on them – which makes my husband wince, but I find quite satisfying.

By no stretch of the imagination am I so controlled that I eat plain lean proteins and steamed vegetables all of the time.  Far from it – but for routine meals, I try to stay away from sauces, dressings, and sides of pasta, rice, or potatoes.  When I really “dine” at the finer restaurants, I deliberately choose  (not always successfully)  to limit either the number of courses or the portion size.  I attempt – again, not always successfully – to lay off the bread and control the liquid and dessert calories — often choosing either an appetizer or a dessert.

When I’m with other people who are ordering an appetizer and an entrée I often will order two appetizers instead — a practice that is so common that most waiters  don’t even blink an eye.  I find that if food is in front of me I’ll eat it – especially if it’s a lengthy meal.  The smaller the portion in front of me (appetizer size) the less I eat.  Still tastes darn good.

No Trauma

Don’t let the thought of eating out be traumatic.  Restaurants exist to serve you meals and it is up to you to choose which one to go to and what you will eat when you get there.

If you know you’re going to go for broke because you’re eating at a special place – or just because you want to – don’t freak out.  Eat and enjoy — you can always compensate by controlling what you eat earlier in the day or the next day.    Be careful about depriving yourself — you don’t want to feel so “cheated” that you end up raiding the fridge when you get home and chowing down on more calories than if you had eaten a full meal in the restaurant.